All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
