so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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