yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
