It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
