Your tits are I can't wait for
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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