Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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