So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
