Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
