Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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