I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
