just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
