i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
