the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
