I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
