Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
