Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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