marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
