Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
