I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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