Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
