Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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