Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
