turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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