He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
