I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
