i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
