This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
