This is not my ceiling
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
