I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
