Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
