dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
