we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
