I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
