May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
