I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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