Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
