Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize