I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
