why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
