90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
