is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
