I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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