I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
