I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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