called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
