It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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