I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
