well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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