Got a toothbrush?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
third nipple confirmed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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