Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
