brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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