Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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