yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
