Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I want her autograph on my taint
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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