I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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