Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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