Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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