Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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