And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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