I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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