One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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