hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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