I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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