She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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