Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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