yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize